FIRST and probably the LAST

Time does not matter for now
I only hope to forget you
My heart hurts
I think I had promised you…
we will talk normally again.

I told you it would probably take a week
Or probably around a month.
I think more than a month has past now…
My heart still hurts.

When I see you, I acted normal.
You acted awkward. Why?
Shouldn’t it be the opposite?

I’m the one who got thrashed by you.
Why are you avoiding me?

Isn’t that supposed to be my behavior towards you?

I don’t know what I want.
I don’t know why I’m feeling this hatred.

I don’t want to hate you.
Or anyone else.
But I do hate myself.

I hated myself for…
Again, giving myself hope.
Hope that doesn’t exist.
Hope that will only hurt yourself.

Although I did confessed that time,
however, like you, I wasn’t sure.
I’m still not sure now.
But I know of one thing,
I can’t go back to the same girl I was.


++E.Shadow.X++                              19th MAY 2013